Author Topic: Xmas Cracker Jokes (Read 796 times)

Mr Rizla · « **on:** 25, December, 2009, 09:08:35 AM »

Come on, post up those jokes we all love

Mr Rizla · « **Reply #1 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:01:02 AM »

What do you call a man with a spade?

Doug

What do you call a man who's lost his spade?

Douglas

Mr Rizla · « **Reply #2 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:02:38 AM »

Why can't you play snap in Africa?

Because there are too many Cheetahs

What do you get every year on your Birthday?

A year older

rosso47 · « **Reply #3 on:** 26, December, 2009, 10:50:51 PM »

what has 22 legs and 2 wings , but cant fly

a football team

rosso47 · « **Reply #4 on:** 26, December, 2009, 10:52:33 PM »

what do frogs drink

croakacola

Trisckie · « **Reply #5 on:** 26, December, 2009, 10:52:50 PM »

Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor: Well your in luck because I've got just the cream for that!

rosso47 · « **Reply #6 on:** 26, December, 2009, 10:53:50 PM »

what bow cant you undo

a rainbow

rosso47 · « **Reply #7 on:** 26, December, 2009, 10:57:16 PM »

what does santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney

claustrophobia

rosso47 · « **Reply #8 on:** 26, December, 2009, 10:58:11 PM »

why has santa got three gardens

so he can ho ho ho

rosso47 · « **Reply #9 on:** 26, December, 2009, 10:59:31 PM »

how do you make a jacket last

make the trousers first

rosso47 · « **Reply #10 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:01:45 PM »

who delivers presants to sharks at christmas

santa jaws

rosso47 · « **Reply #11 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:03:11 PM »

how long do a reindeers legs have to be

long enough to touch the ground

rosso47 · « **Reply #12 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:04:29 PM »

why did the turkey cross the road

it was the chickens day off

rosso47 · « **Reply #13 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:06:05 PM »

what do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire

frostbite

rosso47 · « **Reply #14 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:07:12 PM »

what carol is heard in the dessert

oh camel ye faithfull

rosso47 · « **Reply #15 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:09:14 PM »

whats the best present in the world

a broken drum... you just can't beat it

rosso47 · « **Reply #16 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:11:35 PM »

how did scrooge win the football match

the goast of christmas passed the ball

rosso47 · « **Reply #17 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:13:09 PM »

where do you find chillybeans

at the north pole

rosso47 · « **Reply #18 on:** 26, December, 2009, 11:15:44 PM »

did you know that santa's not alound to go down chimneys this year because of elf and saftey

Aceman · « **Reply #19 on:** 09, January, 2010, 10:27:09 AM »

Where do snooker players go for a drink?

Potters Bar.

Biker Biker · « **Reply #20 on:** 09, January, 2010, 05:30:44 PM »

LOL Rosso 47 you need to get out more often. I am a crap joke teller, I laugh to much before telling them. I tried to tell the joke about the Phantom poo but forgot most of the important details and then is wasn't funny ny more

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Author Topic: Xmas Cracker Jokes (Read 796 times)