Author Topic: A biking dilemma (Read 1021 times)

« **on:** 08, June, 2007, 02:28:07 PM »

I have been having a discussion re taking part in ride out. Its an open ride out and I am worried that some one who launched a bitchy and personal attack on my girlfirend will be there.

I should point out that I have vowed to exact vengence for this slight on her good name and may be forced to smack the muppet on site.

The person I discussed this with feels I should not let the possibility of this person being in attendance affect me and should politely tell them, if asked that i do not wish them to be in my company. Trouble is and I hope that you won't judge me to harshly in this (especially those who have undergone marshall arts training) I may not be able to stop myself from pulling back and landing one on them.

For the sake of the ride I feel it may be better that I dont go, but I dont want to let down the organisers of the ride by not being there or by ruining the day by assaulting some one.

There is of course every possibility they won't go and then I don't have a problem.

So in best clash singing voice, "Should I stay or should I go!"

What would you do ?

trouty · « **Reply #1 on:** 08, June, 2007, 02:31:54 PM »

go on the ride and rise above it

'>

« **Reply #2 on:** 08, June, 2007, 02:35:00 PM »

I my wilder youth I wouldn't even have thought about this, I would have gone on ride and if they were there, twatted them, there and then. I would like to be the better person here and rise above it, but I am not sure that I trust myself not to act on instinct...

Minnie · « **Reply #3 on:** 08, June, 2007, 02:35:27 PM »

Hi Dan,

INMHO

I know what incident you speak of.. although letting it get to you this much that you are about to not do something that YOU enjoy because of them in my book lets them win. Be safe in the knowledge that what goes round comes round. To cancel doing what you enjoy is allowing them to have a measure of control over you and I for one would not like that at all.

SO get yer backbone out, measure you temper and IGNORE them and I am SURE knowing the person involved that it will bother them more.

LOL Ann x

MATTP · « **Reply #4 on:** 08, June, 2007, 02:43:39 PM »

As Trouty says go on the ride and rise above it. Remember that its hard to go to jail for words. Bloody easy if you hit someone and your other half will be well p!ssed about that. Also, remember that your life is not a ride out, its being with your other half!

« **Reply #5 on:** 08, June, 2007, 02:47:01 PM »

Quote (MATTP @ June 08 2007,14:43)

As Trouty says go on the ride and rise above it. Remember that its hard to go to jail for wors. Bloody easy if you hit someone and your other half will be will p!ssed about that. Also, remember that your life is not a ride out, its being with your other half!

That is really well put and my girlfriend knows how I feel and I have told her that I am worried I will bite (metaphorically).

WDZ · « **Reply #6 on:** 08, June, 2007, 03:04:29 PM »

Just lump him one, buy him a pint, then laugh about it

'>

riz K5 · « **Reply #7 on:** 08, June, 2007, 03:07:54 PM »

I don’t know the circumstances surrounding this, but tend to agree with both Trouty
and Mat say.

Join the ride and rise above it. It takes a better man to laugh and walk (or in this case ride) away. Don’t be brought down to his level.

« **Reply #8 on:** 08, June, 2007, 03:32:04 PM »

Quote (WDZ @ June 08 2007,15:04)

Just lump him one, buy him a pint, then laugh about it

'>

But People who do that end up being the bestest Friends,

But i don't think Dan wants to be his friend

'>

Alba · « **Reply #9 on:** 08, June, 2007, 03:37:18 PM »

give him a chance to apologise, if he doesnt then give him a reason to be sorry about it

'>

riz K5 · « **Reply #10 on:** 08, June, 2007, 03:47:43 PM »

Quote (Yamaha_Riders_Do_It_Better @ June 08 2007,15:32)

Quote (WDZ @ June 08 2007,15:04)

Just lump him one, buy him a pint, then laugh about it

'>

But People who do that end up being the bestest Friends,

That’s so true Clint.

Remember how we first met? I had to kick the sh*t out of you before we become good buds. If only you had stayed down on the floor instead of keep getting up, you may not have been in hospital for as long as you were.

'>

Biker Biker · « **Reply #11 on:** 08, June, 2007, 03:50:38 PM »

Mate... save yourself further grief and stay away.

They are bound to do it again and if you feel like this now… when they do it again it will compound. A rideout is supposed to be fun and you are already worrying about all the ‘he said she said’ it won’t be fun and you will end up doing some whacking.

MATTP · « **Reply #12 on:** 08, June, 2007, 04:09:21 PM »

Sorry BB but I'm against that talk about staying away. If you have done any marshall arts training then you should know that you do not need to use force to get your point across.

Not wanting to know anything about your troubles (sorry mate but up to my eyes in things to think about at the present time) but if said person wants to give it large then let them. What can they do to you? let them have their words

'> F'em!

Words did not make your partner want to be with you, so don't let the words of some twit take you away from them! (talking from the love the police gave me when I tried to inform someone I was not over the moon with their views of my partner)

Biker Biker · « **Reply #13 on:** 08, June, 2007, 04:27:50 PM »

Not done martial arts training and so its interesting the slant you take on Dans dillema, Matt.

But my slant is 'what’s the point in doing something that don't make you happy?'

If the person had the gaul to show such disrespect to Dans GF in the first place - They will do it again.... as even after being told how out of order they were, they obviously couldn't take into consideration how what they did affected another person. They didn't apologise, even in the aftermath, so they don't actually see that they did wrong. You cannot force someone to see what they did was wrong, it don't work and ends up in a fight. Dan has foreseen this happening in this instance and has asked for advice. What’s the point in punching someone when they are not clued up enough to replay the chain of events and see what they did? They ain't worth the agro to get into a fight over, especially if Dan can see them doing it again.

« **Reply #14 on:** 08, June, 2007, 04:44:59 PM »

Dan remmember you Don't move till they do ,Only Move if you have too but as i Don't know the full story of why hes doing this i couldn't really give you any advise , But only Advise I'd Give is Go and do the Memorial ride if it means much too you you will go and hold back as you will be seen as the better ,

Ps if he still starts carrying on Beat the crap out of him

'> as he would deserve it especially Disrespecting a memorial ride but think you wouldn't be on your own as others would be angry with his actions but don't make others think your lower than him See you about tonight if your around

'>

« **Reply #15 on:** 08, June, 2007, 04:47:31 PM »

Quote (riz K5 @ June 08 2007,15:47)

Quote (Yamaha_Riders_Do_It_Better @ June 08 2007,15:32)

Quote (WDZ @ June 08 2007,15:04)

Just lump him one, buy him a pint, then laugh about it

'>

But People who do that end up being the bestest Friends,

That’s so true Clint.

Remember how we first met? I had to kick the sh*t out of you before we become good buds. If only you had stayed down on the floor instead of keep getting up, you may not have been in hospital for as long as you were.

'>

'> I Don't know wether to Laugh or Cry

'>

MATTP · « **Reply #16 on:** 08, June, 2007, 05:00:54 PM »

BB, in no way am I talking about a fight. If Dan started the fight (not talking about words but actions) then I'd say he lost and person X won (no matter who ends up on the ground/in hospital).

I think Martin will make it clear (being a teacher and all that) that marshall arts training is very much about the mind. If someone is of sound mind (I taking it that Dan is of sound mind and not a chav twit that does kick boxing to fight over a mobile phone

'> ) then it will be easy to get over what this person says.

I'll not give a flying if someone called my wife a $lut/dog or my Son a twit/etc. Who are they and what is their view worth? F/ALL! But if a good friend done this then it would matter.

Cutting to the chase. its what your friends say that matters. If you live your life feeling hurt from what people say who are not your friends then you set yourself up for a very sad life.

Dan, I don't know you but please go on the ride and enjoy it. If person X gives it large then let them. Or, gives us a bell (hope I'm not person X) and I'll be for a ride to the coast or somewhere. Need time to clear the head anyway

'>

Evel KEVevel · « **Reply #17 on:** 08, June, 2007, 05:05:07 PM »

don't go on the ride out.....I can't think of anybody who openly chooses to be in bad company.

riding should be done in the company of those you like, trust and respect.

unlike the advice from the others I would say that if you can't put the past to bed then go and boot the boy down the street......you'll get hell from your missus but you'll finally feel alot better.

MATTP · « **Reply #18 on:** 08, June, 2007, 05:20:33 PM »

Bloody hell Kev!

'> Sounds like you been working at the Samaritans

'>

MATTP · « **Reply #19 on:** 08, June, 2007, 05:21:59 PM »

Dan, are you not a cop? Some reason on another site I was thinking that the Dancbr600rider was a cop? (like 75% of the time I could be wrong

'> )

pieman · « **Reply #20 on:** 08, June, 2007, 07:24:23 PM »

You don't think you could control yourself? And they let you out on the streets? And you ride a motorbike? What were they thinking?

Aceman · « **Reply #21 on:** 08, June, 2007, 07:30:27 PM »

If you don't go on the ride, then your feelings may be compounded by your resentment of a good day out denied. If you do go, and you still feel that strongly, I'd suggest that you go with friends who will keep an eye out for you to stop you from doing something that you may later regret and gently guide you appropriately away. That my short answer. But if you want a detailed opinion, and it is ONLY my opinion...

The aforementioned "muppet" may have forgotten all about what he said. Yet you're still holding on to it, and it's hurting you. As Trouty said "Rise above it" and as MattP said "it’s what your friends say that matters".

As I tell all my students, your integrity is shown not by your present situation or circumstances, but by how you react to them. Now I'm prepared to tell you of two similar situations that I've been in if you want, but that would be in your company, not on this forum, as this is about you, not me. If you don't have my contact details, PM me and I'll give them to you.

Now here's something that will REALLY try anyone's strength of character. Don't hit the keyboard, put down your coffee before you throw it across the room. Ready? Forgive him. Yes, forgive him. That is one of the toughest things a man can do. It does not mean that what he did/said was right, and it does not mean that you're giving him licence to do/say it again. It simply means that you are choosing to forgive him, and let it go. This is almost spiritual warfare. That way I see this, and it is VERY similar to two previous situations that I've been in, is that it is not whether you "sort him out" that wins through, but by how your character is being corrupted by allowing yourself to consider "smacking the muppet". Read that again slowly, I did not say that "smacking the muppet" is corrupting you, but considering doing so is. Spiritual warfare is highly deceptive, by engaging in the battle physically like this, you have lost - REGARDLESS of whether you win the physical battle. The more you dwell on something, the more predominant it becomes. Such thoughts can give birth to compromises in nice guys. Like you and I. What I would do is tell the “muppet” what I understood him to have said, and advise him that I believe he is wrong, and that I’ve already forgiven him. I would not ask him for an apology, yet if he offers one, all the better.

I’ve been through this. My best and closest friendship was initiated through something similar. And no, I wasn’t calm about it at the time. I was fugging livid, yet managed to control my anger. More details if we hook up.

I can't remember who said it, but there's a saying that goes like, and it is paraphrased here "When everything is going well, then your friends see something of your character. But when things are going bad, your friends see all of your character."

Here ends the sermon of the day. Phew, I’m almost out of breath writing that lot.

Martin

StrumminRonin · « **Reply #22 on:** 08, June, 2007, 08:44:09 PM »

Dan, you know what this is reminding me of? My meeting with the shop keeper.

Remember, you have your buddies with you, by your side. Go, have a great day out with your significant-other-half. Heck, I might even tag along. Anyone got a space on the back of their bike for a small person?

Terry · « **Reply #23 on:** 08, June, 2007, 09:08:31 PM »

You should go mate rise above it but dont let the anger u feel effect your riding because if it does then you wont be concentrating and your the one who will end up hurt. Forget about him and laugh but if you cant then stay away.

ifizzy · « **Reply #24 on:** 08, June, 2007, 09:34:36 PM »

Ive been here myself so many times before and the temptation is to act on your animal pride.
Problem is that could kick off a vendetta and ruin not one but many days.
The temptation is understandable the actions you take can however shape the immediate and long term future.
The planning of your actions is causing you to change your attitudes already.
Remember you can plan plans but you cannot plan the results.
Remember what your day out is all about its about spending time with other people like you.
The fact that the venue draws some other people you would rather not be with is immaterial.
The results depend on what you want to take from the day itself.
Do you want to remember that you let other people think that you cant control your behaviour
or do you want to remember the scenery and conversation.
The choice is yours.
Start planning something positive like making sure youve got enough free memory in your camera
and your batteries are fully charged.
Theres plenty other things to concern you and your girlfriend than what if you end up in a magistrates
a couple of months from now.
Take it easy go ride your bike and avoid trouble like the plague.............it does work.
All the best.
ALEX.

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Author Topic: A biking dilemma (Read 1021 times)